Nosebleeds
by Gregory Pershing
Summary: Kyo sees the real effects of his bulimia when he gets caught. Rated for eating disorders and swearing. Apologies if the personalities are off.
1. Slip-up

A/N: I'm going to be honest with you, I haven't read Fruit's Basket in quite awhile so the personalities of the characters may be off. Write a review if you want, thanks for reading, and I don't own any of this yada yada. TW: Detailed bulimia from the beginning.

* * *

It was more disgusting than anything, really. The vile nature of what he was doing _almost_ outweighed the guilt he felt after eating so much. Kyo held his fingers in his throat for a few seconds more, feeling his stomach contract, and finally release more vomit into the porcelain bowl below his red, sweaty face. He coughed and took a moment to catch his breath, before jamming his fingers into his throat once more until he threw up again. This time, he could only taste the bitter, rancid flavor of bile. The taste made him gag again. His eyes were clenched tightly shut, his nose running, fluid dripping into the toilet with the vomit. 'Absolutely disgusting, why would I do this?' He asked himself in his head. He opened his eyes and met the contents of his stomach and blood. His nose had started bleeding again from all the vomiting. Kyo coughed and stood up. He ripped off a piece of toilet paper and stuffed it up his nose so he could go clean up everything else. After he flushed the toilet, he repeated his usual routine of thoroughly washing his hands, his face, rinsing out his mouth, and finally taking care of the murder scene in his nose.

"Damn" he muttered to himself.

When he was finished, he straightened his uniform out and went back to the roof to spend the rest of the lunch break in silence. What he didn't expect when he got up there was Tohru Honda.

"I already see you enough at home, why do you have to be up on the roof too?" He asked, very quietly.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. What are you doing up here?"

"I knew you'd be up here. Kyo, I want to talk to you" replied Tohru. 'Shit,' he thought. He slowly nodded for her to go on.

"You've been really distant lately. Shigure and I are worried. Even Yuki was asking me what was wrong with you."

"You're just being paranoid. That damn rat had never given a crap about me, and there's no reason he'd start now. Look, just forget about it." Kyo grumbled. He sniffled as he felt his nose start to run again, unsure whether it was mucus or blood at the moment.

"Well, alright, I guess... But Kyo, if you want to talk, I'm always here. We all are. We care about you more than you think" Tohru said, her voice laced with concern. At that moment, Kyo got an answer to his question. His nose started dripping blood and his arms whipped up to catch the drops instinctively. Tohru started panicking and trying to help him take care of it, as expected from such a girl. She fussed over him for awhile as he tried nudging her away.

Finally the bell rang and Kyo was back in his seat faster than a cat avoiding bath time. Most of his time was spent sitting and letting his mind wander as he doodled in the margins of his papers. He made it to the end of the day with little effort.

* * *

By the time Kyo got home, Tohru was already preparing dinner. He realized that he must have lost track of time and got distracted walking home. He didn't really remember any of this, however. Kyo sat down, hunched over slightly. Shigure and Yuki joined him at the table.

"Oh Tohru, I can't wait to see what sort of delicious meal you've prepared for us tonight!" Shigure said, his voice making Kyo visibly cringe.

"Hello cat. Glad to see you've decided to join us" Yuki said, making Kyo curl up more, his arms crossed with annoyance. Tohru put plates full of food down in front of everyone, then sat down with everyone. They all ate in silence for a few minutes.

Kyo stared at his food, his palms becoming sweaty. He felt his face heat up in fear. He saw Tohru's eyes fall upon his still-full plate and he immediately scooped a large portion of food into his mouth. He swallowed it and his stomach lurched. He continued his process until all the food was gone. Damn, it was good, but he knew he shouldn't have eaten like that. He wrung his bony hands and bounced his leg anxiously. After a few more minutes of him watching everyone else eat, he stood up quickly and picked up his dishes.

"Thank you for the meal Tohru I have to uh, go do homework or something." He made sure to put a slightly pissed look on his face in an attempt to lower any suspicions. He went and washed his dishes and rushed to the bathroom.

After making sure no one could hear him, he began the process of expelling the calories from his body. He had some trouble at first, but within a few minutes his fingers were coated with viscous saliva and vomit, his knuckles red and scraped. He continued to vomit until he heard a pounding on the door. He didn't even manage a full "Don't come in" before the door flew open, the lock failing the strength of Yuki's foot. Kyo reacted instantly, kicking him violently in the stomach to back him out and slamming the door. He used the couple seconds he had to rinse off his face and hands and reach to flush the toilet. Yuki barged in again, watching as the vomit in the toilet swirled and went down the toilet.

"I can't believe you. I cannot believe what you are doing. Do you even fucking understand what you're doing?!" Yuki was furiously yelling at Kyo, and Kyo was backing up, his heart racing

"I-It's n-not what you think! I swear!"

"I'm not buying any of your shit anymore, Kyo, you need help. This is unacceptable!"

"Yuki no! Really, I'm fine! A-And why the hell do you care anyway?!" Kyo screeched, his tone changing.

"Don't try to turn this around! This isn't about you and me, this is about you and y-your, your bulimia!" Yuki stated, finding it hard to keep it together. "I-It can never be just about you, it will affect everyone... I don't care how much you hate eating or keeping food down or whatever, but you have to... you have to think about how much it would hurt Shigure, or Ayame, or Momiji, or worst of all, Tohru. I can't stand to see you like this. You look awful, you feel awful, and it makes me feel awful. Doesn't any of that matter to you, dumbass?"

Kyo stood in front of him, not really saying much. His nose began to bleed again and he grabbed some toilet paper and held the wad to his nose. Yuki wiped his eyes and left the bathroom.

* * *

Kyo stared at the blank ceiling of his hospital room, various hushed sounds of equipment falling upon his ears. His body was in much worse shape than anyone had expected. He was going to be released within the next couple of days if all went well. The hospital could help repair the damage done to his body, but only years worth of time passing could repair the relationships he fucked up at home.


	2. Recovery

_**Author's note: Due to multiple people finding the first chapter interesting and requesting I continue, I have decided to add another chapter to the story. Once again, I'd like to remind the readers that I do not have the most perfect grasp on the personalities of the characters. I do not own anything except the hands used to type this all up. And, thank you all for the support. If anyone is suffering from an eating disorder or any other mental health problem, I recommend you seek help as soon as you can. Enjoy!**_

Kyo snapped awake at the feeling of an ice-cold hand on his flushed skin. He opened his eyes and stared, dazed, into the eyes of...

"Damn rat..." He said weakly. He pushed the cold hand off of his forehead. "Why the hell are you so cold?"

"I could ask you the same question, Kyo."

"I... Gahh, no! I meant why is your skin so damn cold?"

"Ah, right. You've been recovering in here for longer than you think. The weather ouside is starting to change. The first snow flurry of the season was today" Yuki replied, voice void of all emotion. Kyo muttered something rude and turned on his side to face away from his cousin. Just then, Hatori walked in. He took a seat by Kyo's bed, next to Yuki.

"Greetings, Kyo, Yuki. Yuki, I need to have a word with Kyo in private, if you don't mind. Yuki stared at Hatori for a moment before standing up, ambling out the door.

A moment of tense silence passed after the door clicked shut. Hatori inhaled, opening his mouth to speak.

"Kyo," he began. Kyo sat up, but did not turn his head to look him in the eye. "I can tell you that no one in the family will be pleased to hear any of this."

"Why does everyone have to know in the first place?"

"When something like this happens in the family, it is out of the question that for it to be kept a secret from everyone."

"I'm barely even a part of the family, why should it matter?"

Hatori paused at this, beginning to understand what kinds of thoughts were behind all of this. After a brief moment of thought, Hatori spoke up again.

"Kyo, tell me. What sorts of things made you resort to bulimia?" Kyo took his sweet time thinking about this question.

"...I guess... it was my way of making my own decisions. Whether or not I ate, whether or not I..." he paused to swallow. "...kept it down... I could make those decisions because I was never given the choice of whether or not I'd be the monster, the disgusting creature in the family, hated by everyone." His voice was starting to leak irritation. "I just want to be my own man. I don't want it to already be decided for me whether or not..." He pauses again, looking away to avoid having his teary eyes seen. "Whether or not... I'm loved. S-So I want to be able to decide what I look like. And now, that's being taken away from me."

Hatori folded his hands in his lap. "I think I have a better understanding now." He sat in silence for a few moment, seeing if there was anything more to be said. "Well, the doctors say you're stable enough to be released within the next two days. I'll be over to talk with you and assess your mental state once you arrive home." He stood up and began walking towards the door, giving Kyo an awkward pat on the shoulder. "Good day, Kyo."

* * *

Kyo stood in front of the house, simply staring. He didn't want to go back in. He knew he'd have to face heartbroken family members, and, dear God, a heartbroken Tohru. He was suddenly overcome with guilt, his lower lip quivering slightly. He closed his eyes and tried to make the feelings pass, only to open them when he heard the door slide open.

It was Tohru. She was looking down, wringing her hands uncomfortably. She walked towards him, stopping a foot away.

"Kyo... I-" She started sniffling, her hands shooting up to wipe her eyes. "Y-Y-You could have t-told m-me you were hu-hurting!" She stated through soft gasps and lamentations. She was approaching hysteria, her shoulders hunching over as if she wanted to hide away and sob alone. Kyo stepped closer, gingerly raising a hand. Tohru ignored his hand and pushed herself forward, hugging him tightly in her arms. She hadn't realized what she was doing until all she was holding was a black shirt, smoke surrounding her. She dropped the shirt and knelt down to embrace the orange cat. Kyo hissed and ran off into the house, up to his room.

Tohru collected herself, then picked up his clothes and went back inside. She folded the clothes and left them in front of Kyo's door. Kyo's ears perked up at the footsteps outside his door, but he made no other motion.

An hour had passed, and Tohru was back at Kyo's door. She knocked , waiting for an answer. Kyo threw open the door, looking pissed. Tohru flinched, taking a step back. When she looked up, however, she noticed his eyes were red and his cheeks were thoroughly wet with tears. He went and sat on his bed, leaving his door open. Tohru took this as an invitation to walk in and sit on his bed with him. She moved to sit behind him and hugged his head to her chest, being as cautious as she could. He allowed tears to continue falling down his face. He could hear Tohru's heartbeat and feel the heat her body gave off. He felt loved. Truly loved and valued as family. He took her hand and gave it a small squeeze letting her know he was sorry silently.

"It's okay. I'm here now. You're okay." She whispered softly.


	3. He's alright

**Again, people didn't think the last chapter was a good place to end. I read it again and realized you all were right. This chapter is a bit darker and takes one of the possible paths of events after recovery. Again, I own nothing in this and this fan fiction is not meant to promote any eating disorders or any actions taken by Kyo in this story. It is a long journey of recovery for these things, but I put it in just 3 chapters. Enjoy.**

Kagura rushed to the house after receiving the news that Kyo had been in the hospital. When she was told why he was there, she broke down his bedroom door and attacked him, screaming profane words through clenched teeth and teary eyes. Kyo was done trying to respond to angry reactions and took it. He deserved it all anyway after being so foolish.

He was watching his relationships crumble around him. Various relatives would talk about his problem to each other. With the family being so close, it was easy for everything to spread. They would say things like, "Oh, he's just a teenager going through one of those phases," or "Wow, I knew he had demons in him but not that way!" Or "That's so tragic, I'm disappointed in him." He would see how everyone walked around him when they met up, how they would make awkward small talk and then leave to discuss things with Shigure or someone else in the family.

Kyo hated himself more than he ever had because of his mistakes. A few weeks had passed since his release from the hospital and Kyo was in his room after dinner. He decided he'd had enough. He wanted to forget all the mistakes he made, he wanted all these destroyed relationships to end.

He stared out his window, debating whether he should run away or kill himself. His mind was more focused on the latter. He tiptoed toward the kitchen, feet quiet as him in his cat form. He searched for any pills. When he found none, his gaze shifted toward the knives. He let out a deep sigh and took out the sharpest one from its place in the knife block. He went back to his room, still just as quiet. He ran his thumb over the tip a few times. His thoughts traveled to his family. Would it be worth it? No, of course not. They would probably think even less of him for killing himself. They would be angry at his selfishness. Shigure would be so disappointed. Yuki would be angry, or he might even be sad.

His thoughts settled on Tohru.

Ah, the biggest reason to not go through with this. Delicate Tohru would be so lost without him.

Heartbroken.

She'd probably fall into a deep depression. She might not make it.

Kyo honestly didn't think he was so great that Tohru couldn't live without him, but she did express such deep concern for everyone's well being.

So selfless.

Kyo thought just then that he should be more like her.

He tiptoed back to the kitchen to return the knife to its rightful spot. He approached Tohru's room on his way back and knocked. "...come in" replied a groggy voice. Kyo stepped in and looked at her, eyes full of sorrow.

"I... I'd like to say I'm sorry for all of this."

"Kyo... You made me and everyone else so worried. But it's not... It's not your fault."

'It's not your fault' hit Kyo hard. He remembered his childhood again. Tohru understood him. She made him feel like less of a fuck-up. He looked to the floor and let a small smile creep onto his face.

"Thank you." He turned and gave a quiet "goodnight" before shutting the door and heading off to bed.

'I guess, as long as she's around, I'm alright.' He thought to himself as his eyes became heavy. His eyes closed and his mind became foggy.

He felt better.

He is better.

 **Thank you all so much for reading. I think that was a good note to end on. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or another mental disorder, please seek help so it can have a happy ending like this story. Thank you all for your support.  
**


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